Post #78 - People Are Like Trees

 
We have a beautiful Japanese Maple in our front yard. I grew up learning how to tend an organic food garden but I never worked with trees or flowers. So, when I decided I needed to “trim the tree”, I tried to shape it. It was a really bad idea. It looked shorn. I hadn’t spent the time to learn about the tree, to observe that the shoots of this species grow out and up. After I trimmed it, it lost that lovely airy shape for which Japanese Maples are so prized.
 
Needless to say, I had a lot to learn about tending trees.
 
Now, 15 years later, the Japanese Maple is beautiful and spacious as it is supposed to be. And I realized as I was admiring it, how much people are like trees. My work collaborating with leaders and teams on change, growth and development, have proven to me it’s true. You want to keep the essence of the tree and trim the parts that limit growth and responsiveness to the climate and other conditions that trees, and we, find ourselves in.
 
Both trees and humans need nurturance. Water, good, rich soil and sunlight. When we stop providing these things for trees or people, things go downhill. And at some level we all know this.
 
Yet it is common for many of us to ignore or even abandon our bodies. We shut down or ignore the signals it’s sending, both emotional and physical (they’re not really separate).  When leaders do this, it has even bigger consequences. They may think that others don’t notice their lack of self-care or self-compassion. Or they may deny that this can extend to a lack of compassion and empathy for others. Or, as sometimes happens, a leader pours out all this care to their teams, but ignore their own needs and experience profound burn out.
 
We humans love the idea of change and development, especially when it applies to others. 
 
We think nothing of trying to “trim” others to fit our needs. Many of us try to do it with our partners, our kids, our family and our colleagues. Leaders are often tasked with delivering change at the individual, team and organization level. They are sanctioned to nurture and shape a team. Depending upon how skillful they are, this can be productive and positive. Sometimes it has terrible consequences. Mostly, according to research, it just doesn’t work. It’s costly and can create a lot of chaos, for little return on investment. 
 
It's true, we have to keep trying to improve, learn and grow. More than ever this world needs us to dream big, solve problems, and create and deliver sustainable value. But leaders, teams and organizations are all made up of people and you want them to grow without losing the essence of what makes them amazing.
 
My clients and work have taught me that change is only successful when we:
 

• Take the time to connect and understand the individual leader or team. It can’t be superficial. We have to inquire, listen and check for understanding. This is time consuming. It speeds progress later. There is a reason why we behave the way we do. Almost every human behavior made sense at some point in our early life. It was adaptive. It helped us manage in our first systems (e.g., family of origin). We all have habits of mind and body that no longer serve us. They require great intention to shift. 
• Identify what’s currently working, what’s great and effective and why. We have to understand the current behaviors or dynamic enough to respect them and it’s even better if we can truly appreciate the growth pattern just as it is, at least for a moment. We have to share that we see what’s good, what’s brilliant, and make sure people feel heard.
• Identify what isn’t effective or skillful. This has to be a collaborative activity. I don’t like to be told what is wrong and I am not alone in not wanting to be “fixed”. We all exist in systems and sub-systems. Even at the individual development level, leaders need to engage the system to figure out what can be improved or accomplished more effectively. Allow the positive green shoots to keep growing and tackle the rest. 
• Build in time to stand back and collaboratively assess progress. Celebrate what’s going well, discuss where progress is slowed and why, adjust experiments and practices to align with the new learning.

There are few really bad leaders or teams. There may be some really ineffective, unskillful or unhealthy behaviors. Sometimes when I am hired to work with a team, they are already exhausted. They have been working hard to overcome system dysfunction and are being blamed for lack of project progress, even though much of what they are tasked with is out of their control. Once you get to know the history and context, it explains much of the dynamic. There is goodness in every organizational system. I find if you can gain agreement on what needs to be trimmed, you can create room for healthy growth. 
 
Understand the essence of a situation before you do any trimming.   
 
The truth is like trees, people need good soil (healthy culture), nurturing sunlight and rain (care and recognition), the right kind of support to allow for new growth (collaborative, high involvement) and appreciation for their true nature.  We are all one of a kind. 
 
I founded Leadership Consulting Partners almost 24 years ago to collaborate with leaders, teams and organizations to create more productive, effective, and human people systems and practices. If you are reading this to the end, and you find value, please say so and share with others on LinkedIn and Twitter. Thank you! 
 
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